The Ribbon

 

So what’s up with the ribbon? Well for as long as I can remember my mom has given both my brother and myself little red ribbons whenever a big change has occurred in our lives. Whether we were leaving for college, moving to a new part of the country, or starting a new job, each new chapter of our lives began with a ribbon from our mother.

My mom intended it to be a representation of the Holy Spirit: a religious keepsake to help us along the way. When I moved back to Baltimore to begin the big C chapter of my life, the small ribbons I had grown used to receiving were not what greeted me. Instead, the headboard of my bed was wrapped in a giant, red ribbon. As if to say, “we’re gonna need a bigger boat.” I didn’t know whether to curl up and take a nap, or cut it with giant novelty scissors for my bed’s grand opening. I did, however, understand its meaning.

What my mom meant was that this was going to be the biggest event in my life. Not just because of the medical journey I was about to embark on, but because of the direction it would ultimately take my life, and the lessons it would teach me.

The ribbon now not only has religious significance, it also represents the people who were so pivotal in my ability to keep it together during those first days after my diagnosis and surgery. For the friends and family who stopped by the house, cooked, sent cards, and showed their love, the ribbon is a constant thank you. It is a reminder of the challenges that I faced and the challenges that we, as a whole, collectively face on a daily basis with this disease.

It is a reminder that this chapter started with terrible news, but also that this chapter is not over.

Anyway, it motivates me. And I hope it is a symbol of the good we can do together.